Celebrating your Friends
Do you ever stop and think about your friends and how incredible they are? Genuinely. The more you get to know someone and what they’ve overcome, their daily struggles, their personal triumphs… it’s incredible.
Call this a soft post but I don’t care. I’m continually floored by how bad ass my friends are and I won’t hide it. Here’s the crazy thing though– you know how excited you can get for your friends and their daily victories? How much are they holding back that you don’t even know about?
Depending on the personality of your friends, there are a lot of big moments that they probably downplay or feel they have to bring up in an awkward manner in order to get well-deserved recognition.
We’ve all been there – telling a strange, roundabout story that’s meant primarily to emphasize the great work we did, how we saved a project, received high praise, etc. It feels… gross. Especially if you’re of the humble lot. Bragging or being arrogant aren’t attractive qualities, but at the same time, everyone loves to be recognized when they succeed at something they put a lot of time and effort into.
As a byproduct of telling too many stories for the wrong reason, I’m proposing a new addition during time spent with friends or loved ones called Points of Pride. You know how some families do the peak and pit of the day? Where everyone takes turns going around the table and sharing a highlight and lowlight of their day? I’d like to add one more so it becomes the peak, pit, and pride of the day.
Let's give people the opportunity to say what they're proud of without it having to be a weird or uncomfortable moment. I want to celebrate… you. Playing at Carnegie hall is INCREDIBLE. Casually running your first long run over five miles is HUGE. Starting a new job, in a new city, after a series of low blows, shows RESILIENCE and STRENGTH. Being a valued team lead, who stays strong during a crazy period of layoffs demonstrates the VALUE you bring to your company.
Have you recently, earnestly told someone what you’re proud of yourself for? Even thinking about that makes me feel… bashful (what even???). My insides wriggle at the thought of it and I can feel my face doing weird things while I think of a way to immediately self-deprecate. It shouldn’t be that way.
There are probably some folks who say you should be able to keep your victories internal and feel good about yourself solely from knowing you did a good job or put in a lot of effort towards something. While this is true, there is something powerful about hearing praise or words of affirmation from people you care about and respect most in the world.
It costs us nothing to recognize our friends and show up for them. It might feel awkward to tell people you see them and their efforts, but I’m reminded time and time again that life is short and it’s not worth waiting. I don’t want to waste time beating around the bush when I could just tell my friends straight up that I think they’re cool. I respect the hell out of them. I see their hard work and celebrate them for it. I will always be here to cheer them on as they chase after their dreams and goals.
It’s taken 26 years but I think I’ve finally gotten to a place where I no longer succumb to thoughts of scarcity. I don’t feel threatened, jealous, or overly competitive by someone else’s wins. There’s room for everyone to succeed and someone else's success does not detract from my autonomy and ability to achieve in my own life.
*Steps off soapbox*
Friends are neat.
Ask them what they’re proud of themselves for.
Share your points of pride earnestly.