5 Truths of Living Alone
1. It’s Peaceful
Having a space that’s entirely my own brings a special kind of zen. Walking through the door to a place decorated exactly how I want, smelling just the way I like, and remaining as I prefer instantly calms me after a long day. There’s a freedom that comes from this kind of solitude. Messy bun, oversized t-shirt, dancing around to Norah Jones on a Sunday morning while cooking breakfast. There’s nothing performative about it and there aren’t any built up tensions or frustrations about unequal responsibilities in the home.
2. It’s a lot of Responsibility
There are no unequal responsibilities, because… it’s all MY responsibility. I’m the accountant, tech support, furniture assembler, chef, cleaning staff, and grocery getter all in one. Unlike when I had roommates, there’s no rotation or picking up slack during busy weeks. When I’m in the groove, managing life like a well-oiled machine, it feels empowering—a bit of a ‘girl boss’ moment, if you will. But on bad days—stressed and depressed days—the dishes pile up, grocery shopping and cooking turns into takeout, and the garbage stays full a little longer than it should. The mental load can be overwhelming.
3. You Have to Get Creative
There are a surprising number of instances where you need an extra set of hands. Hanging large pictures on the wall, lifting the TV onto the stand, building a bed frame. It’s not impossible to do it alone, but it would certainly be easier if a partner or roommate was around. Sometimes I wish I was a fly on the wall so I could see just how insane I look trying to MacGyver my way through a task. Recording myself sliding pictures around the wall to test placement options, kicking a leg out in a desperate attempt to reach the screw driver… it’s not always pretty.
4. It can be Lonely
Even though I’m comfortable with solitude, there’s something to be said about coming home to someone to talk to. My senior year of college was one of the best times of my life—not because of bar crawls or football games, but because I lived with three strangers who quickly became lifelong friends. Together, we celebrated job offers and grad school acceptances, supported each other through breakups and major life decisions. We sat in comfortable silence while studying or chatted effortlessly into the night. While that level of connection isn’t always the norm, I miss those built-in friendships and the comfort of knowing a friendly face would greet me when I walked through the door.
5. Spiders
For 22 years, there was always someone around to handle my paralyzing fear of spiders—until there wasn’t. For the last four years, I’ve had to face this dirty work alone. When an eight-legged menace finds its way into my home, a DEFCON 1 mission ensues. Pants, long sleeves, close-toe shoes, a sturdy smashing device, and all the lights turned on… it’s a high-stress, athletic event. My watch even chimes, “Erin, it looks like you’re working out.” Yes, that’s right—I'm working my way out of this building and never coming back.