3 Reasons Why Location Sharing Does More Harm Than Good
I’m forever grateful that I grew up just prior to the normalized use of Find My Friends or other location sharing platforms. I can’t think of one good reason why someone needs to have access to my whereabouts at all times… seriously. It’s not just an invasion of privacy, but an invitation for stress, worry, and the potential for hurt feelings. Are there ~temporary~ instances where it can be a valuable tool? Absolutely (i.e. solo safety situations). But beyond brief or intermittent access, the bad seems to far outweigh the good.
1. Lack of Autonomy for Kids
I remember sitting on the patio listening to my parents recount stories of their childhood. They would be out all day going from the creek, to the rail-road tracks, to the neighborhood friend’s pool. Unfettered by a need for constant check-ins and updates, their only rule was to be home for dinner when the street lights came on. And you know what? They seem to have turned out just fine. Unbothered by a fear of constant surveillance or a potential need for lies and deceit, they were able to develop autonomy.
If a child is going to their friend’s house, the parent should be able to ~trust~ that their child is, in fact, with their friend. Perpetual monitoring encourages lies and deceit between a parent and child. I remember one old teammate who used to leave her phone in the locker at Planet Fitness and go hang out with friends as a way to circumvent strict/helicopter parents. Instead of forcing kids into those types of situations, it seems much healthier to build a relationship of trust, respect, and invite a conversation as to why certain rules or parameters might be drawn.
2. Invitation for Hurt Feelings Amongst Friends
At what point does keeping up with your mate’s location go from being cute to creepy? How do you confront a friend who comments or makes it known that they keep up with your location regularly? Can you ever un-share your location if it gets too weird? It can be tempting to see where your friends are before you give them a call, or checking it to see who is around for brunch, but there’s something so unnatural and invasive about that approach that leaves my skin crawling.
The biggest reason for this is the risk of hurt feelings in moments of rejection. If you can see that your friend is still home at 10:00am on a Saturday and they reject and invitation to grab a coffee, your next question is likely, “Why not? I know you’re just sitting at home.” If you’re following someone on their commute home from work and call as soon as they walk through the front door, will you be annoyed when they don’t answer? Instead of reaching out to people as if it’s a query, a bid for some of their time, the dynamic has shifted into making it a demand. And let’s not forget the biggest opportunity for hurt feelings… seeing friends who are together and didn’t invite you. Ignorance is bliss.
3. Another Step Away from Organic Socialization
I have a few friends who are very limited with what they share on social media and maintain a relatively private life. While it might limit the opportunity for new connections, it certainly makes for the most exciting conversations. Instead of leading the conversation to intentionally bring up a trip you know they went on or an experience they recently had, the conversation is a blank slate. Where have they been? Who have they been hanging out with? What are their latest hobbies? Everything is new and shared with intimacy and intention.
Having constant access to people’s whereabouts feels akin to a higher power type of knowledge. As if I’m the narrator and am seeing things from far above, except I have no business doing so, and, if I’m honest, don’t really care to know. Call me old school, but knowing someone’s precise location is a privilege, not a right, and we’re better off keeping it that way.